amos the churchmouse: amos gets souped

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor's note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can't operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

amos gets souped

boss i shoulda

known better my

momma told me to

never play around

kitchen stoves i

shoulda known

better but i did

it anyway

marcellus the big

fat cat was at it

again first chasing

all the rats scattering

the gnats and disturbing

the two bats in the belfry

then quicker than

veg-o-matic can dice

he turned his beady

eyes to us mice

the race was on boss

without thinking i

scurried across the

floor to the closest

appliance - the stove -

diving under it i then

mountain-climbed up

its backside

meanwhile marcellus

was seriously

contemplating a leap

to the top

the moment his paws

left the floor i jumped

into the nearest pot

it wasn t empty boss

i had landed in the

middle of alphabet

soup and found myself

swimming around

the p s and q s

marcellus apparently

lost my scent among

the soup but i wasn t

about to tell him

soon he wandered away

wondering where his little

gray prey had gone

life however wasn t

getting much better

in the soup bowl boss

carrot chunks and

green peas kept

slapping me in the

face - where s bugs

bunny when you need

him says me to nobody

in particular

the more i splashed

around the a b c s and

1 2 3 s the more convinced

i became of a conspiracy

the letters are out to

get me says me deliriously

for abusing their literacy

rearranging their conformity

and dispersing their uniformity

but i did it in the name

of creativity says me

can t you give me some

credit for religious

ingenuity

just as an n and o

thumped me in the nose

then g-e-t and o-u-t

floated by my eyes

and g-o-a-w-a-y

attacked my tail

did you guys fall off

an ouija board says me

or am i just hallucinating

among the peas and veggies

the soup was getting the

best of me boss i felt

sure the word d-r-o-w-n

rippled in front of my

mousy mouth but who

could be sure of anything

in a wordy bowl like this

question mark here boss

just then i saw g-o-d

attached to a couple of

huge potato chunks and i

hopped up on them just

long enough to throw my

front paws over the edge

of the pot and out I jumped

thankful for the name of god

and his divine intervention

boss i don t know if life is

like a bowl of soup - but it

sure helps to keep god s name

handy - you never can tell when

you may need to call on him

amos