Opinion: Auctions test of self-control

Local columnist

How hard is it to refrain from scratching that itch on your nose? Now imagine that it’s more than just an itch; it’s a big, black fly that just landed on your forward cartilage extension. Your hand wants to just shoot up and get rid of the pesky pest.

But you can’t, you’re at an auction. Delayed irritant removal is a critical skill that you learn early. You don’t want to soothe your nose just to find out that you bid on a pallet of used tarp straps and ruined sprinkler tires. Don’t make any sudden moves, turn away slowly, and in a similarly restrained motion, move your hand up to your nose and take care of business.

You learn a lot at farm auctions. I’d have to say that for a growing farm kid, they are one of the most concentrated educational environments. There is math to be done in your head. You have to quickly estimate the value of something. You take the potential value, modify that number with the probability of unseen problems weighted by the likely cost of those likely problems, should they exist, and then you’ve got a maximum bid estimate. Then you run that by your internal ledger of how much you’ve already bought at the auction, how much you actually have to spend, and how much you have left on your bank note. Then you get into the quick stuff, recalculating with each bid, trying to decide how fast to bid, in what sized increments to bid, and how much over your original estimate you can really justify.

All the while, you’re watching the auctioneer, the bid callers, and the people that are bidding against you. You’ve got to track the rhythm and content of the auctioneers roll, noting changes and predicting his next adjustment to increment or the final sold signal. You’ve got to keep your eyes on the eyes of the caller you’re working with, keep his attention so that he immediately responds to your indications and gets your bids in. You track the other callers, judging their confidence and impression of the people they are catching bids from. And you use that information to add to the impression you’re gathering of the opposing bidders themselves.

How much do they want it? Is that nonchalant confidence real or staged? What impression are they getting from you? Are they done? Or still in? Or just waiting?

And then it’s over and your either won or not and you start the next calculations.

Audra Brown has bought some interesting stuff. Contact her at: [email protected]. Find her on the web at http://www.audra-brown.com.