amos the churchmouse: when bugs go to school

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor's note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can't operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

when bugs go to school

you know boss with the

new school year about

to start i have developed

an ever-increasing admiration

for our educators and the

little bug students they

attempt to teach

life isn t always easy

in a bugtussle classroom

boss but both students

and teachers alike seem

to make the best of it

the other day i ran across

some educational data from

some of our bugtussle

students that was

displayed on the internet

by their teachers

i tell ya boss it was

rather enlightening and

somewhat entertaining

here are some classroom

conversations gleaned from

some of bugtussle s brightest

and strangest students

one teacher asked little howie

the hootie owl – why are you late

little howie replied – cause class

started before i got here

another teacher asked little walter

the woolie worm – why are you

doing your math multiplication

on the floor

little walter replied – you told me

to do it without using tables

a third teacher asked bobby

the little bumble bee – how do you

spell crocodile

little bobby thought a moment

and spelled it – k-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l

and of course the teacher told

bobby – no that s wrong

so little bobby responded – well

maybe it is wrong but you asked

me how i spell it

then one chemistry teacher asked

little timmy toad – what is the

chemical formula for water

and without hesitation little tim

spoke right up – h i j k l m n o

the teacher was confused – what

are you talking about says he

well yesterday you said it was

h to o says little timmy

then one day a bugtussle teacher

asked little millie millipede – millie

name one important thing we have

today that we didn t have ten years ago

me says little millie the bright millipede

that same day the same teacher saw

what a mess little mikey the mole

was making and asked him – mikey

why do you always get so dirty

little mikey thought for a moment

and then it came to him – well i m

a lot closer to the ground

than you are

the teacher then called on

louie the songdog and said –

george washington not only

chopped down his father s

cherry tree but also admitted it

now louie do you know why his

father didn t punish him

big louie smiled a slobbery smile

and said – cause george still had

the axe in his hand

another teacher called on simon

the squirrel and asked – simon

tell me truthfully do you say

prayers before eating

little simon replied – no sir

i don t have to – my mom is

a good cook

finally at the end of the day

one teacher turns to harold

the humbug and asked – harold

what do you call a person who

keeps talking when people are

no longer interested

without blinking an eye little

harold says – a teacher

sometimes boss teachers have

a trying time to make us

smarter – and then sometimes

the kids outwit their tutors

but god still loves us each

and every one

amos