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Articles written by Bob Huber

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Pages past — Jan. 6

On this date … 2006: Newspaper columnist Bob Huber of Portales wrote about his love for a Model-A Ford he’d purchased when he was a young man. “My longing for (the vehicle) ranked up there with...

 

Pages past — Jan. 6

On this date … 2006: Newspaper columnist Bob Huber of Portales wrote about his love for a Model-A Ford he’d purchased when he was a young man. “My longing for (the vehicle) ranked up there with a gnawing appetite for winsome ladies. I figured I...

 

'Inside the Capitol' irreplaceable

Jay Miller is a quitter. After just 26 years and 7,200 columns, he’s tacked a “Gone Fishing” sign on his Inside the Capitol column. Jock dads put a little football in their sons’ cribs. Jay’s daddy must have left a tiny typewriter. The...

 
 By Bob Huber    publish/News    May 29, 2010

My turn: Facebook friends talk cats

I asked Facebook friends for stories about the best cats they’ve ever owned. Pep’s Betty Williamson offered the tale of “Fizz Bomb,” named after a “Western Horseman” cartoon character: “Fizz ruled our roost for many years and is...

 

Bond approved to build new elementary school in 2007

It took Portales Municipal School officials a year of fine-tuning their plans, but once the right plan was presented to Portales voters overwhelmingly approved a school bond to build a new elementary school. In higher education, Eastern New Mexico... Full story

 

Year in Review: August 2007

A daily look at top news stories in August reported in the Clovis New Journal: Aug. 1: A 79-year-old Clovis man had posted a handmade sign in his yard on Calhoun Street, urging drivers to slow down and watch out for children. “I care for these...

 

Bob Huber’s wit was one of a kind

Five or six dozen friends and family members gathered in Roswell last week to remember Bob Huber, a journalist and longtime columnist for the Portales News-Tribune and Clovis News Journal. Huber died Aug. 3 at age 76. His columns often consisted of...

 

Friends, family recall columnist’s humor, upbeat personality

He liked a laugh and a good cigar. He enjoyed plenty of both. Robert “Bob” E. Huber, journalist, freelance writer and newspaper columnist, died early Friday morning at his home in Portales. He was best known in Portales and Clovis for his weekly...

 

Children’s logic often produces smiles

Whenever I write about the wonder of school children and their test papers, I get enough fodder for another column from teachers who save them. Some, of course, are a little too shady to appear in a family newspaper, and so I sell them on the black m...

 

Life without funny bone not as fun

A recent trip to our local hospital stimulated my memory banks and brought forth an experience I had with modern medicine a dozen years ago. That memory is entitled, “The Case of the Missing Funny Bone” or “Does an Asafetida Bag Really...

 

Tobogganing can be dangerous sort of fun

Folks in these parts aren’t real familiar with deep snow, toboggans and holiday omelets, and that’s probably a good thing. But I’m recalling the now famous Great Toboggan and Omelet Debacle of 1945, an unparalleled event in the annals of...

 

Credit-card debt Christmas tradition

Now and then I dig into my stale-notes vault seeking something unusual to write about. This year I plucked a familiar poem especially for victims of Post Christmas Blues Syndrome. It’s titled “’Twas a week after Christmas, with apologies to...

 

Some people never grow too old to play with children’s toys

Christmas Eve always reminds me of the old bromide, “Bizarre conditions are easier to get into than out of.” Which somehow explains why I’m too old to play with toys, but I’m just not willing to give it up and go through a painful...

 

Amateur concerts can stir emotions in many

This time of year I’m always reminded of a Christmas season my wife, Marilyn, dragged me to a holiday concert. In fact, it almost erases a previous Christmas memory — the time my wife and I were caught with other travelers in a Wyoming blizzard...

 

Some things one must see to believe

Before sunup each day, an east-west train rumbles through town while everyone sleeps. The engineer pulls a rhythmic whistle cord on the east side of town, and he doesn’t stop until he breaks out on the west side. By the time the last car chugs by t...

 

Holidays bring about nostalgia

Whenever the yuletide season rears its evil head, I’m always reminded of my world-class journalistic enterprises. In fact, I get all teary eyed and go looking for Kleenex tissues with wintry scenes printed on them. Back in olden times I reported...

 

The famous weigh in on doggone debate

I recently entered into deep debate with my dog, Cody — short for Co-dependent — concerning the relative differences between man and canine. It was Cody’s contention that dogs were intellectually superior to men. I know it’s ridiculous, but...

 

Past political campaigns lot more fun

I once asked a gubernatorial candidate to give me one word that would describe why he put himself on the awful election campaign trail, and after a moment, he looked at me and said, “Ego.” So now that all the election rhetoric is over and the...

 

Sometimes death defies all temptations

I was still in high-top shoes when my Uncle Claude, a luckless man, tried to cash in a one-way ticket to eternity. He tried to commit suicide. It was in the autumn years of the Great Depression, and Uncle Claude’s luck fit the economic...

 

Influenza causes downfall of great men, women

I’m convinced that influenza is the curse of great men. It was undoubtedly the root cause of Napoleon’s Waterloo, Noah Webster’s misspellings and Custer’s — well, the Little Big Horn was no place to sneeze, because Sioux Indians in those...

 

Halloween brings out the trickster in many

First they shut down daylight-saving time. Two days later they celebrate Halloween. Is that a conspiracy or what? The mystery is, who’s behind it? Here at the Academy for Thorny Plots I’ve researched that question, coming quickly to the...

 

Can you guess who?

With the thrill of elections just around the corner, it’s time to play “Who Said It?” which is a test of how smart you are about government and who said what about it. The game reveals whether or not you can cast your ballot without asking...

 

Kids can say the darnedest things

If you’re looking for answers that have eluded mankind for a dozen millennia, find a bunch of kids. They have all the answers. I received a real-life list of these answers recently from my niece Whitney, a soon-to-be college graduate. (No gifts... Full story

 

Asparagus-counting traditions hard to break

Now that summer’s over, we can all give thanks for seasonal changes. In other words, no more steaming days, sweltering nights, grass clippings and asparagus sprouts. The asparagus liturgy at our house began one day years ago when my wife, Marilyn,... Full story

 

Labeling system could be useful

Here at the Lazy Syntax Library we’re perusing a couple columns we wrote about terms used to describe groups of animals — you know, like a pride of lions and a gaggle of geese. The seed for this research was the behavior of news reporters in...

 

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