Reliving my summer memories of goatheads

Around these parts, if we’re not complaining about the lack of rain, we’re grousing about the weeds.

My grandmother said of her father when he was looking for land in this country that he wanted two things — a place with shallow water and a place without Johnson grass. I’m not sure he was successful long-term on either account.

I guess I officially switched gripes last week. On the way out to check the rain gauge, I found myself ankle deep in a patch of goat heads.

Some of you may not know what Johnson grass is but if you’ve been out here anytime at all you’ve become acquainted with goat heads. They get their name from the sticker seed that is shaped like a goat’s head. Goat heads are not to be confused with grass burrs or sand burrs. Goat heads are much nastier.

I have grass burrs in the front yard. I was reminded of that fact when company dropped by and one of the guys not so familiar with our burrs began removing them from his pant cuff. He was going to take them back outside and I said no, no, I’ll throw them in the trash.

My back yard, where the dogs roam, has been grass burr free and I’ve not seen a goat head on the place at all until last week. I reached down and plucked the first goat head and was pleased to find we had received enough rain to allow them to be pulled by the roots and the heads hadn’t quite matured enough to be dangerous, so I pulled the whole patch and took them to the dumpsters.

I had tried the same a few weeks ago in the front yard with the burrs but they were harder to pull and they are still thriving.

Goat heads in my memory are stuck to basketballs and bicycle tires. You’ve experienced country life when someone passes you a basketball adorned in goat heads. Timeout while you pick ’em out of your hands and check the ball for more.

On the bicycle side of things, one ride through the goat heads and you were fixing a flat. Fortunately sometime back in the late 1960s a product called Never-Leak came on the market. You screwed the nozzle onto the valve stem of the tire and sent the whole tube into the tube. It would flow throughout the tube and instantly seal up any minor punctures, like goat head stabs.

The only downside ever logged with the product was the day a bike tire blew out, covering my pants and shoes along with a fender of Mom’s car.

If it’s never happened to you I hope it doesn’t, but a goat head in the heel is bad news.

Karl Terry writes for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at:

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