Ready for a top job working for Trump

Donald Trump, who had tweeted criticisms about Barack Obama for firing three chief of staff employees in three years, has fired his third chief of staff in less than two years.

As most followers of the news know, Trump is firing his administrative staff at a record pace.

I think I could have gotten the chief of staff job if I had made my intentions known earlier. It’s not like there was a lot of competition. The first four people approached for the job turned Trump down.

The one who agreed to take the job, Mike Mulvaney, once said, “Yes, I’m supporting Donald Trump … as enthusiastically as I can, given the fact that I think he is a terrible human being.”

I wonder how long this one will last.

I once talked to a Vietnam vet involved in very long and heavy combat. One day he concluded that he was going to die. The fear left and he fought as if there was no tomorrow. However, after he had served most of his tour, he was told he would be going home in two weeks. He realized he may live and the fear returned.

The same principle should be used if you are working for Donald Trump. Don’t worry about being fired; expect it and the fear will leave.

I know you don’t read much, Mr. President, but perhaps someone else can read this column to you. There are a lot of reasons I should be working for you.

I will be on the lookout for a crisis we can create if we need to refocus the nation’s attention. Then we can make a few minor changes, and watch as you claim all the credit for averting a disaster.

I understand you, Mr. President. I had a brief but spectacular presidential campaign. Like you, the people who worked for me are ending up in jail. I had ties to Russia and I am willing to cuddle up to dictators and repressive regimes all over the world.

I haven’t had to pay off women to keep quiet but I could probably get some to pay me to stop bragging.

I am no threat to you, Mr. President. I’m not rich, or powerful, and don’t even have enough hair to comb over bald spots. I would not try to share the spotlight but would dish out compliments proclaiming your brilliance. You are, after all, a self-proclaimed genius.

I am aware you have declared bankruptcy four times. I have always paid my bills but I will keep that quiet and do my best to give the impression that I can be a cutthroat businessman.

I understand corruption. I work in the healthcare system where price gouging, fraudulent billing, refusals to pay for services done and denying coverage to needy people are all routine. What could be better preparations for government work?

I’ve heard that the last chief of staff felt he needed to be the adult in the room. I won’t make that mistake. In fact, I may not even be in the room.

I love to laugh and joke but promise to act like an angry white man in front of the cameras.

But, alas, President Trump, the chief of staff job is taken.

You should fire Mike Pence and appoint me as vice president.

Don McDonald writes for Community News Exchange. Contact him at:

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