Sloan: Something to be said about humor

My book-of-the-month summary for July is “Funny Letters from Famous People,” edited by Charles Osgood.

Excerpts:

• President Dwight Eisenhower wrote his wife from Germany:

Wendel Sloan

“George Patton is going to drive me to drink. He misses more opportunities to keep his mouth shut than anyone I know.”

• Author/photographer Lewis Carroll missed an appointment with a model, and sent her this apology:

“This is indeed dreadful. You have no idea of the grief I am in while I write. I am obliged to use an umbrella to keep the tears from running down on to the paper … When I have recovered from the shock, and have been to the seaside for a few months, I will call and arrange another day for shooting.”

• George Bernard Shaw cabled the following invitation to Winston Churchhill:

“Have reserved two tickets for my first night. Come and bring a friend, if you have one.”

Churchhill replied:

“Impossible to come first night. Will come second night, if you have one.”

• William Dean Howells replied to a female fan who wondered why he never responded:

“I am almost wounded more by your supposition that I could let anything in the way of work keep me from answering you than I am by the fact that I never got your letter.

“I am going home with an arrow in my breast that sticks through the back of my coat in a way that will excite universal comment.”

• F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote to his landlady about a rodent:

“I thought the other day that a large rat had managed to insert itself into the plaster above my bedroom and workroom … However yesterday, much to my surprise, I deduced from the sounds emitted it was several dogs training for a race … I know dog racing is against the law — so I thought you’d like to know.”

• Groucho Marx wrote to a Hollywood club:

“Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”

• Dorothy Parker telegraphed a new mom:

“Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.”

Contact Wendel Sloan at [email protected]