Sloan: Everyone's stories aren't obvious

Elly Marez, 52, dropped out of Clovis High School at 15 to get married and have a baby. After moving to Portales with her husband, she had two more children.

She and her five brothers and two sisters were raised by a single mom. When she was 8, the three girls were taken from their mother and separated.

Wendel Sloan

Over the next six-plus years, Marez shuffled between seven foster homes and three girls’ homes.

She finally convinced her caseworker that if she were returned to her mother she would stop running away.

“Be careful what you wish for,” she said. “Thirty-seven years later I’m still coming to grips with it all.”

Few know her story, which “still causes shame. My own kids don’t know all the details.”

Her youngest daughter works for the Children, Youth and Families Department. Marez refuses to listen to her daughter’s stories because they evoke painful memories.

In 2003, Marez, who has seven grandkids, was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA).

She haphazardly took prescribed medication. After 10 years of one drug “ruining” her liver, she decided she knew better than doctors and stopped taking medication.

“Now, I can no longer work,” the former hard-laborer said. “I have damaged my back beyond repair. I’m considered disabled.”

Marez’s disability is not obvious, and she gets nasty looks when using her handicapped parking plaque.

“I feel betrayed by my own body. My days since I had to stop working, biking, walking and playing with the grandkids are depressing,” Marez said.

She doesn’t talk about her limitations to most people because she’s afraid they’ll think she’s seeking attention.

“My biggest fear is someday being dependent on others; I’d rather die.”

Still, her kids trump her disability.

When released from state custody as a teenager her caseworker predicted her future kids would also end up in foster care, Marez said.

“I vowed he’d be wrong. I married too young because of pregnancy, but have managed to raise three college graduates — two with master degrees,” Marez said.

“My children are my legacy; the promise I made to myself when I was 8.”

Contact Wendel Sloan at [email protected]