Helping another refreshing feeling

I was 10 minutes east of Lubbock when I stopped at a McDonald’s. I was driving home from Austin, Texas. This is where I met Wendy.

Wendy was talking to a young couple as they walked back to their car, begging them for money.

Wendy looked to be in her 50s. She wore a wretched brown sweater with a bandana around her unwashed, greasy hair. Her cargo pants were stained with sweat.

She was clearly homeless and I hoped to avoid her.

I gave her a wide berth and went into the McDonald’s. When I came out she was gone.

I’d been driving in my car for six hours and wanted to stretch my legs, so I strolled around the parking lot. I had almost completed my walk when I saw Wendy again.

Her eyes locked on me.

“Excuse me, young man,” she said in that subservient voice a child uses when they’re trying to please their parent. “Could you spare a dollar?”

My decision point: Was I going to ignore her or tell her I didn’t have any money? I chose the latter option, which was true.

“I don’t have any cash on me,” I said.

“That’s OK. Thanks anyways,” she replied. “I hope you have a good New Year.”

I’m used to panhandlers getting upset when I tell them no. But Wendy was different. I felt bad. Where was my charitable spirit one month after Christmas?

A friend once told me he would never give a panhandler money, but he would buy them food instead.

I followed this advice, and told Wendy I would buy her something to eat in the Dollar Store. Her face brightened up and she thanked me.

We spent the next five minutes walking through the aisles like a married couple, discussing the nutritional merits of various foods.

She ended up getting a two liter bottle of Dr Pepper, six packages of top ramen, and two cans of tuna. We went to pay at the register.

“Hey, Wendy,” the cashier said.

“Ugh, hi,” Wendy awkwardly responded.

Apparently this wasn’t the first time Wendy had bought food at this store today.

I paid for the groceries and we stood outside the Dollar Store. Wendy lit up a cigarette.

“Can I bum one of those?” I asked.

“I take offense to that word,” she said, with a bit of playful humor.

She handed me a cigarette and we talked some more. She quoted passages from the Bible and said she’d wanted to be a playwright when she was younger.

Most of what she said was nonsensical, but I could tell there was an intelligent person down there losing a war with her demons.

We stubbed out our cigarettes and went back to my car. We shook hands and said goodbye.

I didn’t change Wendy’s life that day, and you could even make the argument that I made her life worse by enabling her to continue panhandling.

But I’m reminded of a passage from the Bible: “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”

And after helping Wendy, I certainly felt refreshed and hope she felt the same way.

Kitsana Dounglomchan, a 12-year Air Force veteran, writes about his life and times for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at:

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