Skipped the Bowl for lack of interest

Staff writer

link Kevin Wilson

Monday was Groundhog Day, which meant AMC was playing “Groundhog Day” in an all-day marathon. I joined in as soon as possible, and had my moment of clarity on the first commercial break.

“Hey dummy, you own ‘Groundhog Day’ on DVD. It’s in higher quality than the broadcast. It doesn’t have commercial breaks. You can replay or skip any part you want.” It’s my own personal “Groundhog Day.” I make the same mistake over and over.

I had that same thought the night before. Super Bowl Sunday, matching the Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots. Who ya got, Kevin?

“Well, I don’t know,” I’d tell everyone. “My loyalties are to the 49ers. I’d really hate it if the division rival Seahawks won two straight Super Bowls. Same deal if Tom Brady won his fourth Super Bowl ring to tie him with Joe Montana — who lost no Super Bowl, threw no Super Bowl interceptions and never relied on a late field goal, but who needs details, right?”

As the days became hours, hours became minutes until kickoff, I figured out the only way I’d be happy with the Super Bowl was if the Seahawks dominated so much early the Patriots had to pull Brady, and rookie Jimmy Garoppolo led New England to a comeback win — no win for Seattle, an asterisk on Brady’s fourth ring.

I knew the odds of that were about 1,000,000,000-to-1, but the odds were 1-to-1 that people would complain about the halftime show, people would say the commercials weren’t as good as last year and people would become annoying armchair coaches and quarterbacks.

Why do I watch this game every year, even when I have zero rooting interest (or only negative ones)?

So I skipped it, for the first time since 1987. I found out that missing a game is one thing, but missing a Super Bowl is another in terms of time. During the six-hour respite, I:

• Cleaned the living room.

•Cleaned the bathroom.

•Cleaned the bedroom.

•Watched my “Guardians of the Galaxy” DVD with the commentary track. It’s amazing to find out a Marvel film couldn’t afford to build one set unless the steel was melted down and sold back to the supplier.

•Went grocery shopping. The clerk promised to get me out quickly, since I was running back to the game. “No, no, take your time,” I said.

•Planned a Monday trip to Lubbock to finally see “Birdman” in theaters. Canceled those plans when I discovered I could buy a digital copy for $15 instead of paying $14 for admission/popcorn/Cherry Coke and $12 on fuel. Canceled those plans when I found out I could just wait two more weeks, buy the DVD for $25 and get the digital copy included free.

A little after 9:30, I figured it was safe to enter back into the foray. A bunch of friends said the commercials were terrible this year. Everybody talked about how dumb Katy Perry’s halftime show was, oblivious to the fact that Perry’s only job is to keep you watching the broadcast so other networks don’t steal eyeballs with their halftime specials. Everybody knew football better than Pete Carroll, because the Seahawks coach called the wrong play, and nobody simply credited the Patriots for making the better play.

Everything I thought would happen did happen, but I didn’t spend six hours finding out.

Maybe I’ll do that over and over again. Unless the 49ers give me reason not to next year.

Kevin Wilson is a columnist for Clovis Media Inc. He can be contacted at 763-3431, ext. 318, or by email:

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