Avoid regrets by valuing life now

I recently visited a 64-year-old divorced father of three in his North Dallas apartment. Through a mutual friend, I'd known him for a decade.

Despite health problems, partly caused by alcohol and cigarettes, he was always kind and cordial to me and, more importantly, to our friend who needed a supportive friend in Dallas — and vice versa.

A week after our visit, he died while watching TV alone. Even his beloved cat had disappeared a few days before.

Thinking he was sleeping, his daughter discovered him in a chair.

After his wife divorced him while their three kids were teenagers, he seldom saw them. Only recently had they reestablished contact — and were shocked at his condition.

After our friend spoke at his funeral, they told her that they regretted not staying in touch, and wanted to know as much about him as possible.

The obvious lesson is to avoid regrets by valuing people while they are here.

The less obvious is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If you faced their challenges, including alcoholism, you might do worse.

We all know that death is coming, so use it for perspective.

Be genuine, even when it requires difficult thinking and choices that make you the target of cliché-spouters.

Our struggles will end soon enough, and we will be most remembered for our passions, compassion, authenticity and grace in facing obstacles — as well as how we helped others through theirs.

Contact Wendel Sloan at [email protected]