a view from under the pew: the peanut butter incident

Gary Mitchell: Religion columnist

amos the churchmouse:

a view from under the pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.

the peanut butter incident

boss i nearly was

no longer here last

night i was slipping

away and almost gone

it gave little jenny

the mouse next door

quite a fright

never eat peanut-

butter-and-crackers

before bedtime boss

i shoulda known

better one of my

best buddies in dallas

mike the newshound

used to always do it

and one night he died

it was sad and i shoulda

known better because

last night it nearly

happened to me

i really don t remember

it well i m sort of a

heavy sleeper boss

but jenny said she

heard me wheezing and

gasping to get my breath -

come to think of it now

i was probably the reason

she was still awake -

when she came over

she found me sitting

on the edge of my

matchbox bed heaving

but hardly breathing

she said she tried to

rub me on my back and

she prayed for me

finally i was able to

breathe again jenny

turned to me and

said you ve been

eating peanut butter

late at night again

haven t you

i nodded my head and

sheepishly - if that s

possible for a mouse -

grinned

don t ever do that

again says she

ok says me and

promptly dropped

off into a deep and

restful sleep

funny thing boss i

hardly remember it

at all jenny came

over and asked me

how i was

fine says i why

because you weren t

so fine a few hours

ago don t you

remember nearly

choking to death on

the edge of your bed

says she

no that was a dream

says me

a dream says she

if that was a dream

why did it nearly make

me scream

then i sorta got

scared myself boss

but the lord seemed

to speak to my heart

don t worry i m with

you says he to me

peanut butter may

stick to your paws

and the roof of your

mouth but i ll stick

closer to you than

any brother - closer

than peanut butter or

even elmer s glue

and somehow boss that

just brushed away

all my fears and blues