July 21, 2008

HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how’s everybody?

• The President Bush Library was voted permission Friday to be

built at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. He belongs there. With Michael Irvin, Pacman Jones, Josh Hamilton and now George W. Bush, no one can deny that Dallas will forgive anybody.

• Buckingham Palace suffered further water damage Thursday which Queen Elizabeth can’t afford to fix. She can’t get a home equity loan. Her family’s only owned the house for a 1,000 years and the Bank of England doesn’t like to lend to speculators.

• Billy Crystal was appointed Friday to serve on the World Trade Center Memorial Committee. This is an effort to get the memorial moving. After seven years they have concluded that what’s been holding up the project is that it doesn’t have enough laughs.

• Mad Men received 18 Emmy nominations Monday for the show about a New York advertising agency in the early 60s. All the characters drink, smoke and have sex in the workplace. There was a time in this country when there was no such thing as a sick day.

• Britney Spears lost custody of her two toddlers to former husband Kevin Federline Friday in a court ruling. The tabloids hurt her cause. There was a time when a photograph of a mother holding onto her little half pints meant kids, not half pints.

• John McCain vowed in Detroit Friday to jump start the U.S. economy. The country faces record gas and food prices, housing foreclosures, and bank closings. Has it occurred to anyone that Brett Favre wants to come back because needs the $12 million?

• Barack Obama was off Friday on a six-day trip to Israel, Jordan, France, Great Britain and Germany. The crowds will be huge. He plans to play Moses in Israel, Saladin in Iraq, Joan of Arc in France, Churchill in England and he’s wracking his brains for a famous German leader to play that won’t cost him New York and Florida.

• Barack Obama was denied permission to speak at Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate where Jack Kennedy and Ronald Reagan gave speeches during the Cold War. Germany says it’s reserved for presidents. Saviors have to start at the beer halls and work their way up.