Spouse of the Year – ‘The total package’

Janet Taylor-Birkey

Mary Roux is the winner of

Cannon’s 2006 Joan Orr Air

Force Spouse of the Year

award.

Col. Robert West, 27th

Maintenance Group commander

nominated her, asserting

that Mrs. Roux is “the whole

package — a master of every

trade and inspiration.”

Mrs. Roux is quick to say

that while she received the

plaque, the award represents

military spouses everywhere.

“I don’t do anything different

than most of the ladies and

guys do,” said Mrs. Roux. “It’s

an affirmation for everyone

that [military spouses] are

important.”

As the wife of Lt. Col.

Ronald Roux, 27th Maintenance

Group deputy commander,

Mrs. Roux is also a mother

to Christopher (18) and Robert

(16), and is no stranger to military

life; she has seen both

sides as a military wife and

former Air Force officer.

From the military wife side

of the fence, Mrs. Roux’s

biggest challenge is “trying to

be supportive, and at the same

time, trying not to lose

[myself],” she said.

She fears that the simple

advice she offers Air Force

spouses sounds cliché, but she

is convinced it can make all the

difference between surviving

or thriving.

One of the many ways Mrs.

Roux thrived during the frequent

military moves is by

developing a network of friends

and helping others. “It really

helps to put yourself out there,

especially in smaller communities,”

she said. “When you help

other people, you take yourself

out of your own angst.”

A big believer that “you

just do the best you can with

what you’ve got,” Mrs. Roux

said that everyone has their

own talent and can help out in

different ways. Some of the

ways she has helped out are

sorting, packing and moving

truckloads of goods to Las

Angels for victims of Hurricane

Katrina (Katrina’s Kids),

always being available and on

call for spouses in need, and

welcoming newcomers to

Cannon.

Another of her beliefs is

that a military spouse can have

an impact in how far their

Airman goes in their military

career. “You’re not going to get

them rank, but you can take

care of things at home so he or

she can focus,” she said.

She said one way to help an

Airman’s focus is to not, “go

crazy with the whining and

complaining.” Mrs. Roux

encouraged.

She said she believes there

is no one answer to thriving as

a military spouse, but that

spouses should, “try to make it

the best you can, everywhere

you go.”

Part of the Air Force

spouse’s unwritten job description

is to be supportive of the

active-duty Airman, but this

support is not one-sided. Her

advice to Airmen is simple and

to the point: “Be understanding;

[military spouses] are

going through their duty-day

too.”

For many military spouses,

the duty day consists of taking

care of things at home, but

Mrs. Roux is adamant that

spouses should not underestimate

their job as a spouse and

parent. “I do not like it when

people say, ‘I am just a stay-athome

mother,’ or ‘I’m just a

wife.’ [No] — you are you,” she

said.

Military spouses are

expected to support their

active-duty spouse and children

at home, but are also frequently

expected to be available

to those in the squadron.

Mrs. Roux says she takes

care of herself in order to meet

those demands. This often

includes a nap for rejuvenation,

adding that for others it

may mean taking yoga classes

or practicing tenants of their

personal faith.

Some Air Force spouses

may wonder if they are permitted

to have anything resembling

their own life or career. A

military spouse can have their

own career; she has worked inretail and as a commercial

airline flight attendant during

her husband’s career, but it is

not easy, Mrs. Roux said. “You

have got to make sacrifices.”

Although both spouses

careers may take sacrifice,

Mrs. Roux encourages military

spouses, “Don’t give up your

dreams.”

Being a military spouse is

not only about sacrificing; it is

also about enjoying what the

military lifestyle has to offer,

along with having a good sense

of humor.

It was during her time as a

commercial airline attendant

— and one of her husband’s

deployments — that Mrs. Roux

found how necessary good

humor can be.

Colonel Roux was

deployed, she had a flat tire

and a 90 minute commute to

Raleigh, N.C. Having never

changed a tire before only

added to the frustration of

needing to be on time to catch

her flight.

Removing lug nuts was difficult,

but the tire got changed

and she made her flight, Mrs.

Roux explained.

When taking the car in the

next day to get a regular-sized

tire, the attendant told Mrs.

Roux, “Well, you did it, but it’s

on backwards!”

Whether in times of sacrifice,

or having to find humor in

inconveniences, Mrs. Roux is

humbled by the honor of being

selected this year’s winner. “It

does make me feel good to

know that I am helping our

mission, our security in the

world,” she said.