Amos 5-6

Editor’s Note: Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard shift

keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

the mother s day

gift dilemma

who would ever think finding

a gift for your mother would

be such hard work boss

question mark here

you forget she s a

female says bertie

woeworm in passing

well that may be so

but i know what i

plan to do says me

i ll just get her a few

lovely flowers or a

set of nice gourmet

cheeses of the world

ah now there s an

intelligent son says

slippery sam the snake

oil salesman what a

lovely idea to give your

sweet mother some

lush beautiful flowers

but then slippery sam

pauses a moment as

though he s pondering

a life-or-death option

but then says he it seems

to me that your mom has

such sweet lovely flowers

right there in her home

garden doesn t she

oh yeah she does says me

somewhat bewildered

well never mind says sam

you can always give her that

wonderful sampling of

worldly cheeses can t you

of course i can says me

a bit suspiciously this time

but still sam slurred ever so

softly cheeses never last

very long they mold or

sour or sometimes even

get dry and hard you wouldn t

want that for your mom so

dear do you amos my boy

naw i don t guess so says

me more confusedly than

before but she really does

like cheese - just like me

oh i know i know my boy

says sam so ingratiatingly

but we want the very best

for the best mother in the

world don t we

so what do you suggest

says me even more

suspiciously

how about this diamond

brooch says he with a sly

wicked grin holding up a

sparkly stone under his scaly

chin imagine how this

would look wrapped

around her lovely throat

or how about an exquisite

red silk coat direct to the

church pew underworld from

paris france it shimmers and

glows she ll love it - all it

takes is one quick glance -

and a few pesos - but i tell

you it s a once-in-a-lifetime

chance - all i need is

your say-so

boss i didn t know what to

say all of a sudden the flowers

and the cheeses i planned

seem to wilt in the sand

just then prayer vigil the

praying mantis saunters up

beside me what s the matter

amos says he

i can t decide what to get

mom for mother s day says

me at first i thought about

cheeses or flowers but they

look rather puny next to sam s

big expensive gifts

i know your mom amos and

she s the best but she doesn t

want you to fall into debt

all she wants from you is

your love - and any gift given

from your heart to hers

will bring her joy like a dove

sent from above

amos