happy birthday amos

Gary Mitchell: CNJ columnist

boss having a birthday

isn t so bad - if only

you didn t have to age any

you ask me how old i

am but i think i ll adopt

the same policy that

the giant redwoods of

california fame have -

never reveal your age

until it s all over - and

above all never outlive

your usefulness

boss i woke up this morning

feeling rather decrepit and

worn-out even my cozy little

matchbox bed looked like it

had a lot of old gray cobwebs

all around it when i rolled out

of bed i stubbed my little

mousy paw - it hurts more when

you get older you know boss -

my favorite cheesecloth suit

looked tattered and worn even

my shoes were old and wrinkled

life seemed dreary dismal and

gloomy i was a bit depressed

happy birthday amos

says freddy the flea as

he hopped happily by

thanks says me a bit

grudgingly

just overhead robin

redjoy flew high in the

air hey happy birthday

down there you mousy

gray hair she chirped

as she soared away

without a worry or a care

thanks a lot says me grumpily

i hope you hit a tree

just then boss a gang of beastly

roaches circled me just after i

passed some roses but i never

really saw them until i

inadvertently bumped into their

noses - if they have noses

hey watch where you re going

you old mouse says one of

the young punk insects

then get out of my way

says me angrily

oh he s a tough old mouse

says one of the thugs

either that or he s an ugly old

grouse says another of the bugs

then they all yelled and they

pounced on me with all their

roachy force whipping me

with their antennae nipping at

my furry skin and pummeling

me with multitudinous legs

it was awful boss - i ve been

scalded by hot water pounced

on by alley cats covered in

jello and chocolate and tangled

up in a waxy mop but nothing

can compare to being roached

they left me in a disheveled

heap behind the rose bush

i don t know how long i was

there when louie the songdog

padded by and sang out happy

birthday amos

yeah right says me dejectedly

but you know what boss he

helped me up and licked me

in the face combed back my

natty gray hair patted me

on the back and says - you re

okay now have a happy day

and off he trotted while robin

redjoy flew over with a bright

yellow happy birthday banner

- and all my friends gathered

round and sang for he s

a jolly good mouse

good friends make birthdays

and everyday life a lot better

don t they boss - not to mention

the birthday cheesecake they

gave me

amos

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except hyphens and dashes.