May have a clue to wife's real hair color
May 3, 2020
My true hair color is blonde. I’m not so sure about my wife’s color.
I knew when I got married I was getting a bottle blonde, but she was hot looking and I was in love so I didn’t really care. Had I taken the time to calculate the investment that would be required of the family budget over the years I might have thought twice.
Averaging her own figures of $7 to $14 per dye job and the four-week interval she claims the peroxide bill for our marriage comes to about $3,400. I think the truth is about twice that. Either way, that’s still more than the down payment on the first home we owned.
I’ve always been pretty content to play the cards as they were dealt to me. I’m balding on top and have been pretty gray and getting grayer for a long time now. I’ve never dyed what little hair I’ve got and never fertilized my balding pate to try and grow new hair. If I were going to take action though, all I would need to do is transplant the rapidly growing hair on my eyebrows to the top of my head.
One of my grandfathers was a silver-haired gentleman and the other was a chrome dome. My mother has magnificent silver hair and, like her, I see no reason to fight nature. With my wife it’s a different story though.
If I were to color my hair I would pick one brand of hair color and one particular color and I would never vary from that. My lovely bride is never content to stay with one color. She’s mostly stayed some shade of blonde, but there have been forays into Lucille Ball land with less than satisfactory results.
Being on lockdown, neither of us has had a haircut in too long, but we did have hair color, so I spent one morning helping her with coloring her hair. There was actually a second bottle but, nope, I just couldn’t do it.
After we were done it really hadn’t changed the color that much and she wasn’t too happy about it.
I’ll admit, it has probably added a little spice to our love life over the years. What man doesn’t dream of sleeping with a blonde one night and a redhead the next?
Compulsive/obsessive? If I keep on believing she’s doing it for me it will all be OK I guess.
Her real hair color? I don’t think even her hairdresser knows for sure, but with this pandemic I just might have stumbled onto the answer. Something tells me a brighter shade of blond is on our shopping list when this is over.
Karl Terry writes for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at: