Local women weigh in on #MeToo

Actor Matt Damon was criticized for saying there’s a difference between patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation. Both need to be eradicated, but shouldn’t be conflated.

In coming to Damon’s defense on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” the host said, “The ‘nothing is funny’ people are trying to take over the world and we can’t let them.”

Maher admitted being a male predisposed him to being “aggressive and over-sexed, but I don’t concede that it makes me automatically wrong about everything, and I say that as a true supporter of the #MeToo movement ... I’m down with #MeToo; I’m not down with #MeCarthyism.”

Being less than an expert at womanhood, I asked several female professionals about the “MeToo” movement not making a distinction between unwanted back rubs and rape.

Here are some responses:

• “It’s easy to tell victims to shut up if it’s never happened to you. The unwanted touching is felt as intimidation to ‘play ball’ or else. Every bit as violent as rape.” — Bobbie Dunn

• “I am concerned that we might be trivializing actual sexual assault and/or ongoing sexual intimidation by lumping everything together. It’s much like what we have done with the terms bullying and hazing.

“We use them so loosely and frequently that when a serious offense occurs, it sounds inconsequential. Words matter.” — Carol Nesbitt Singletary

• “The boss doesn’t go around rubbing the shoulders of male coworkers. The harassment is the tactic that keeps women from asking for a raise or a promotion.

“We each have power over our own bodies, and refusing a sexual (or sexualized) advance is OK, normal and perfectly within the rights of an individual.

“I agree that things are not black-and-white and there are degrees of behavior. Context is important and should not be dismissed. An act done in ignorance that is, never-the-less, perceived as offensive is not the same as an act with malicious intent.” — Kristin Waldo

• “As in most things, there are degrees. They may all be wrong and unacceptable, but I see a difference between a pat on the butt and rape. The intimidation factor also plays into where it falls on the scale.” — Nancy Barrow

• “I’m guessing that women who equate a pat on the butt with rape have never been raped. All are wrong and should be penalized. Equal? Hardly.” — Rhonda Seidenwurm

• “It’s all on a continuum of disrespect for women. It all counts.” — Nina Bjornsson

• “I think Maher makes a valid point. Women should never have to tolerate unwanted and unsolicited attention of any kind, but equating a pat on the butt and rape is foolish.” — Minnie Birdsong

• “Rape is extremely serious and I wouldn’t want to confuse it with what we might consider ‘less traumatic’ offenses. But with other types of unwanted aggression, the context and pattern is everything.

“If it’s being used to intimidate, humiliate, subjugate; if it’s happening over and over despite clear indications that it is out of line; if it’s within a context where other behaviors (unequal pay, lack of opportunities or marginalization of women, inappropriate or demeaning verbal behavior) are rampant; if it’s being coupled with psychological or emotional abuse — then the context and frequency can make it every bit as harmful and serious as outright sexual assault.” — Mary Fanelli Ayala

Contact Wendel Sloan at: [email protected]