Passing kindergarten no 'Pomp and Circumstance' event

They march in formation, their caps on and gowns flowing. Their parents beam with pride. “Pomp and Circumstance” plays, familiar music to the unfamiliar lyrics, “Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free ...”

Time flies. Before you know it, they’ll be first-graders.

Huh? Why are kindergarten graduations a thing?

I had to Google the lyrics to “Pomp and Circumstance” because I’ve only heard the karaoke version. But I’ve seen plenty of Mini-Me versions of actual graduation ceremonies, and parents beaming with pride because their child accomplished ... I’m not exactly sure yet.

A friend of mine has a kindergarten student — I’m sorry, a kindergarten GRADUATE — and was flummoxed at the ceremony.

“Here’s his first eighth-place trophy,” he said.

He doesn’t even hate participation trophies. He figures kids who aren’t good appreciate recognition for trying something different, and kids who are good focus on the bigger trophy.

But I see adults left and right who tell us the participation trophy generation is to blame for everything. They’re the ones 30 minutes early for a front-row seat at Braxtynn’s kindergarten graduation because he’s adorable. Never mind he’ll forget the ceremony by July.

I looked online for New Mexico kindergarten graduation requirements and found none, though I’m sure you have to do some basic skills. I emailed the Public Education Department and got no answer. I assume the contact person had a vacation or out-of-town business, but I hope they rolled their eyes and yelled to the office next door, “Just got today’s dumbest email.”

Ask yourself these kindergarten graduation questions:

• Did your 6-year-old do something 99.9 percent of other 6-year-olds didn’t do?

• Is this diploma going on a job or college application?

• Would a child who had to repeat kindergarten be barred from the graduation service?

• Do you remember, without the help of relatives or photo albums, if you had a kindergarten graduation?

If you answered no to everything, does the kid need a graduation? And was it ever really about the kid?

A Clovis resident wanted to put up stop signs at every city intersection without one, and Traffic Superintendent Kevin Musick had a good argument against. “Motorists usually know whether a sign is warranted or not,” he said. “Having signs we don’t need breeds disrespect for signs that we do need.”

We don’t need to stop at every intersection, but we should slow down and check our surroundings. Likewise, we don’t need a graduation at every grade, but we can slow down and appreciate the progress.

You can celebrate a great year of school without buying a size-XS gown or expecting a school to have them on hand. Have an end-of-school party. Take a field trip. Maybe a social hour so parents can meet each other and set up summer hangouts.

But let’s hit pause on “Pomp and Circumstance” for a few years and make a deal on kindergarten graduations. I’ll admit they’re harmless, but you’ve got to admit they’re unnecessary.

Kevin Wilson is managing editor for the Clovis office of The Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him at: [email protected]