Sloan: What’s in a name? I say destiny

With commencements, dust and ethanol co-mingling in the fragrant High Plains air, it’s time for another speculation about the impact names have on graduates’ Destiny.

In potential couplings, will:

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• Ace-Ventura bond over Jim Carrey movies? • Moore-Bacon have cholesterol problems? • Poore-Sap declare bankruptcy caused by Flye-by-Knight contractors?

• Rather-Grim’s union be mirthless? • Sharp-Payne make frequent emergency-room visits? • Song-Byrd win Bigg Money at Kelley’s karaoke nights?

• Cash-Register fight over shopaholicism? • Ray-Gunn win Best costume at trekkie conventions? • MacDonald-Berger bake a junior Berger?

Headlines:

• Pearce-Hart sued for medical malpractice ... • Lane-Widener project in Portales three years behind schedule ... • Riggs-Betts indicted for bribing Clovis High School athletes

• Blind-Faith Milk congregation to build White Castle ... • Price-Wright passionate about garage Sales ... • Chase-Hacker indicted for beating up Spam

• Bull-Gore regrets trip to Madrid for running of the Bulls ... • Sealey-Simmons sleep like babies through Storm ... • Page-Turner co-write best-seller available at Barnes-Noble

News briefs:

• A Little-Mann got Cross-Wise with Marshall-Dillon for running a Ponce scheme and was sentenced to House arrest before going on the Lamm.

• A new Parrish-Priest has been assigned to the Chappell on Prince Street. He is accepting donations from a Penny to a Buck to build Church-Holmes for men sporting a Gray-Beard who Camp out in Urban-Woods.

• The united Nations family has come to Terms that either a Savage-Hawk or Wooley-Wolfe made off with their Small-Fry by the Trane-Bridges. While they Greeve, they are moving to Austin where no Lawrence-Welk music will remind them of the bubbly Song playing when the Wilde abductor Strong-armed their Young-Buck.

Poem:

• Zhang-Yang-Wang were a Reising trio with such rhyming names and Pipes and Witt that no one could Fite they were Masters-Bound for Brite neon Light until disaster Hitt:

Singing a Bach-inspired Medley of Melody at low earbud fidelity was their Forte until they smoked a Jay and Wang got hooked on Rock, Yang on Rapp and Zhang on White-Powder-Krap.

Contact Wendel Sloan at [email protected]