Who knew a tie was needed?

It was “The Golden Age of Disco” and I knew I needed new clothes. I dutifully trotted off to the store and bought the polyester slacks and the platform shoes and the tight flowery shirt with the big collar.

And I kept my long, flowing hair in place with hairspray. Yeah, I had hair back then. And I used hairspray, manly hairspray. In a manly black can with the picture of a manly man on it. It was called “The Dry Look.” Made for men. Manly men.

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With the proper clothing and hair in place, I decided I was ready to go out with Miss Laura, the Methodist preacher’s daughter.

The plan was we would have dinner at the grand old hotel downtown then be off to the movies.

Dinner is where “The Golden Age of Disco” met tradition.

I arrived resplendent in my “Golden Age of Disco” clothes and perfectly coifed hair with Miss Laura the Methodist preacher’s daughter on my arm.

“Sir,” said the Maitre d’, “You must wear a tie.”

This was unexpected.

“I don’t have a tie,” I said.

“Sir, you must wear a tie,” repeated the Maitre d’. “However, we do provide a tie for those who are without one.”

The Maitre d’ reached into his podium and pulled out a skinny black thing and handed it to me.

I looked at the tie, I looked at the Maitre d’, I looked at Miss Laura.

Miss Laura was looking to the side. I could tell she was stifling a laugh.

I begrudgingly put on the tie and we were seated.

I felt like I was wearing a dunce cap.

Soon the dinner was over, the date was over and I never saw Miss Laura again.

And as it turns out, I don’t need that manly hairspray anymore.

Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road of life. Contact him at his blog: grantmcgeewrites.com