a view from under the pew: amos suffers rejection

Editor's note: Amos is a churchmouse, who types by hopping on a computer keyboard, but he can't operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks - except hyphens and dashes.

amos suffers rejection

boss my ego is reeling

from three simultaneous

rejections i sent some

of my poems to three

mousey publications

one said my poems were

too simple and lacked

imagery another one

said the poems were so

balled up with images

they were confusing

a third editor said

forget it kid - go back

to peddling cheese

or better yet why not

try preaching

i was so depressed i

went to the phone to

call dial-a-mousey-

friend but a recording

came on which said

we re sorry but all our

mousey friends have left

for parts unknown

please call again next

week maybe they ll

be back by then

dragging myself out of

the phone booth boss i

decided to try to bury

myself under the nearest

trash can

just when i thought life

and the world in general

had kicked me out of it

boss i ran across - or

rather stumbled over -

this funny looking little

bookworm named howie

in a local college library

howie was a religion

professor s pet bookworm and

he resided in a corner of the

prof s tottery old bookshelf

howie has a peculiar

habit for a religious

bookworm he likes to

write limericks - and

sometimes they don t

even make sense which

makes them even funnier

would you like to hear

a limerick he asks

no i wouldn t i reply

ok here s how it

goes he said

a very near-sighted

old man from drew

made a trip to the

municipal zoo

he mistook a gorilla

for his dear wife

priscilla and said i

thought you had

shopping to do

i didn t want

to hear it i yelled

ok here s another

he said but try to

remember to grin at the end

a hillbilly singer named moe

was adept with his old banjo

he twang and he twang

and sang and he sang

till he died of sadness and woe

i think i know how he

felt i said

tell me what you think

of this one

said a green army recruit

willie mill

when asked why he went

over the hill

to avoid being dead

for the sergeant had said

when ready everyone fire

at will

boss i began to grin

maybe the world wasn t

going to end i think i

had found a friend

so i asked him to tell

me another one again

sure he said with a smile

but it may take me awhile

oh here s one the best of

the pile

did you hear about the

awful blizzard

it was colder than a

penguin s gizzard

the icicle i ate

i discovered too late

was nothing but a quick-

frozen lizard

boss i laughed and i

laughed and it really

felt good it helped me

realize that even if the

whole world rejects me

jesus loves me and his

love through howie

demonstrated the truth of

the proverb that a merry

heart doeth good like

medicine

amos

p s - oh by the way boss

the limericks were

courtesy of the late dr fred

howard of wayland baptist

university - just thought

you might like to know