Internal editing needs more work

CMI Columnist

Your internal editor is in your brain. It’s that thing that filters your true thoughts into proper comments.

link Grant McGee

For instance, I’ve learned that if I encounter a female acquaintance I haven’t seen in a while and she is sporting a big belly, I wait for her to say something in the conversation indicating she may be expecting. I don’t automatically say, “Oh when’s the baby due?” I did that once. Just once.

There was that time when I was heavier and walking into a store with a similarly sized lady friend when I mused, “You know you and I together weigh a quarter-of-a-ton?”

She turned to me and said something I can’t repeat here. We didn’t hang around together much longer after that.

My internal editor came to mind the other day while The Lady of the House was working on photo albums; by her own admission eliminating pictures and engaging in “some revisionist history.”

There was a picture on the table of a woman, I wasn’t sure if it was The Lady of the House. I mean it looked kind of like her, but I wasn’t sure.

I ruminated for the right words to say.

Then I spoke.

“Is that you?” I asked.

My words were greeted with a turn of the head and a look.

“That’s my mother!” said The Lady of the House.

Trying to salvage the situation I spied a picture that was definitely The Lady of the House.

I picked it up.

“Look,” I said with a smile, “here you are all skinny.”

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew I was in trouble.

Later she showed me a picture of her brother as a toddler with mom and dad. He was buck naked.

I wonder if next time I see him I should shake his hand and exclaim, “Hey, I saw a picture of you and your tallywhacker.”

I probably shouldn’t.

Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road of life. Contact him at his blog: grantmcgeewrites.com.