Being sick apparently a learned skill

H ave you been sick lately? It had been so long since I’d been sick I was beginning to think my daily regimen of bicycle riding and drinking lemon water had made me invincible to bacteria

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and viruses.

Silly me.

I was felled by some bug that left me wiped out on the sofa.

It was during this time that I learned from The Lady of the House that I don’t know how to be sick.

“You don’t know how to be sick,” proclaimed The Lady of the House.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You’re awake,” she said. “You’re thinking about work, you’re stressing.”

“Isn’t that the American way?” I asked.

“When you are sick,” explained The Lady of the House, “You sleep on the couch under the covers, drink lots of juices and 7Up and watch lots of action movies. Then when you feel a little bit better you eat lots of chocolate cake.”

“Where are the action movies?” I asked as I pointed at the TV. “There are these easterners on this safe, homogenized TV cooking show saying it’s Tex-Mex day and THEY’RE MAKING GUACAMOLE WITH PEAS! WHO IN WORLD MAKES GUACAMOLE WITH PEAS??? PEAS??”

“I wish you had a fever,” said The Lady of the House.

I looked at her in shock.

“Then you would sleep and I could watch my cooking show,” she said.

I typed into The Facebook that I was at home sick and that The Lady of the House wished I’d sleep and not yell at the TV about peas in guacamole.

A Facebook friend suggested NyQuil.

“I’d mix you a NyQuil cocktail if I knew it would knock you out,” said The Lady of the House.

But minutes later I did fall asleep, for quite some time.

A couple of hours later I woke up.

It might have been my sleep induced haze but I could have sworn The Lady of the House was smiling and eating chocolate cake.

Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road of life. Contact him a his blog:

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