The Eastern New Mexico News - Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities

Guest column: Don't 'try,' just do your best


Urban Dictionary defines a flake as: an unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through.

This is what I used to be. I was a flaker. I flaked so much my nickname was, “Frosted Flakes.” Frosted Flakes may be great, but flakers are always late.

Nobody will ever trust you when you’re known as “the flaker.”

Instead, all of us would like to be known as “the doer.” A doer is defined as someone who actively does things instead of only thinking or talking about them. I’ll take it one step further and say a doer is a person who gives everything their maximum effort — their word is their bond.

How can you tell whether you’re a doer or a flaker? My friend, Jason Rimer, taught me to pay attention to my use of affirmative and conditional language.

He said, “If you ask a friend if they’re coming to your party and they say, ‘I’m going to try’ that person is using conditional language. They’re giving themselves a way out.”

In the back of your mind, you know when people use conditional words they probably aren’t going to show up or follow through — they’re flaking.

Jason continued to say, “If you ask another friend and they say, ‘I’m going to be there’ or ‘I’m not going to be there’ that person is using affirmative language.”

This person is a doer. I’d rather have someone tell me the truth. Don’t flake on me.

It’s a small difference, but it reveals a lot about the type of person you are and who you’ve surrounded yourself with.

The people in your life who use affirmative language are the ones who accomplish their goals — they’re doers. You subconsciously rely on them because of their use of affirmative language and their ability to follow through. When they say they’re going to do something they do it.

If you want to be a doer instead of a flaker you can start by not using conditional language. Be affirmative.

Don’t “try” to do your best; do your best.

Kitsana Dounglomchan, an 11-year Air Force veteran, writes about his life and times for Clovis Media Inc. Contact him at: [email protected]


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