Things to think about while traveling

Our family made a hasty cross-country journey last week, involving four aircraft and too many airport hours to count. Here are some Dramamine-induced (because that’s the only

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way I can be coaxed into the air) observations:

The only beings that appear genuinely happy in airports these days are toddlers and bomb-sniffing dogs. Their enthusiasm, zest and carefree joy are almost — but not quite — contagious.

Every time (and by “every time,” I mean every 15 minutes) the recording played admonishing me that “any inappropriate remarks or jokes concerning security may result in your arrest,” I inched closer to wanting to see if they meant it.

As we landed on each segment of the journey, and the flight attendant reminded us to “please stay comfortably seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop,” I wanted to raise my hand and ask if that also applied to those of us who were uncomfortably seated.

And, finally, if I literally interpreted the sign on the basket of pre-packaged munchies at the airport vendor that said, “Grab and go,” could I have been arrested? If so, shouldn’t the sign say, “Grab, PAY, and then go”?

I am happy to be home. I was not cut out for air travel.

Betty Williamson refuses to be responsible for any actions she takes while on nausea-prevention medication. You may reach her at [email protected].