All things not as they may appear

Don’t you get a bit perturbed when you are erroneously billed?

I got one of those last Saturday.

I called customer service and got voicemail.

“I DON’T OWE THIS BILL,” I said. I didn’t cuss or call them names, I just made it repeatedly clear I didn’t owe the money.

I ended the call.

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I felt the presence of The Lady of the House. Actually I was feeling the presence of “The Look.”

“What?” I asked.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Medical bills are a pain to try to get straightened out,” I said.

“You’re being a jerk,” she said. “I’m sure it’s just a mistake.”

Then I laughed.

“What?” said The Lady of the House.

I remembered another time a bill upset me.

It was long ago and way back east. I had moved and the power company said I still owed them money from the old place.

I wrote them a letter saying they were wrong, that they were capitalist jerks and there would be icicles on the hinges of hell before I’d send them one more dime of my hard earned money. I may have even written “Viva La Revolution” on it. I was going through a phase.

A week or so later I received another letter from the power company that went something like, “Dear Mr. McGee, We are in receipt of your ‘letter.’ We have attached a copy of your payment record and we believe you will see that you do indeed owe us ‘capitalist jerks’ here at the power company more money.” And they were right, those capitalist jerks.

So just as The Lady of the House predicted, the whole medical bill thing was a mistake.

I apologized profusely to the medical bill lady for leaving such an impolite message on her voicemail.

“My wife said I may even have some issues,” I said.

There was laughter at the other end of the line.

Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road of life. Contact him through his blog at: grantmcgeewrites.com.