Military Mama: Hard to let go of friends along way

A s a military family we can safely assume that we will be picking up and moving every two to four years, depending on where in the world we land. In my six and a half years of marital militaryhood we are well into our third duty station. If you average that out, we haven’t stayed put long. This is our longest duration at a single base, so to say that I have the itch to move on. It is ingrained in my mind that it’s time to move. In addition to the last six plus years, prior to getting married, I spent two years at university, preceded by two years at a junior college. So I literally have moved every two years of my adult life — until now.

At this point I realize that we may be here for the long haul. So my only change of scenery may come from quick trips and vacations until my hubby either re-ups or gets out. I’ve learned to accept that this is a very real possibility, as this particular base builds up to its full potential.

I am quite used to being the one that moves on first. As newlyweds, John’s time on station was halfway over, and then later a midterm PCS sent us on our way earlier than expected. This is the first time that I’ve really had to be the one to say goodbye and stay put, instead of being the one waving as I head out of town.

It’s rough to be the ones left behind. Military families are truly used to starting over, but learning to just keep on trucking in the same place is completely new to me.

I get jealous when friends announce their new duty stations. Thank heavens for Facebook because I am terrible with phone calls, probably even worse with emails and don’t even get me started on cards and letters. I lurk around my old friends’ pages to keep track of their adventures and watch their children grow from afar.

I have felt myself pulling back at this base, because it was hard for me to say goodbye in the past. I tried to keep an arms length, because I get attached easily. I tried to fight my nature and avoid the deep bonds that sting when it comes time for someone to move on. It’s just not possible for me to do that. I have to indulge in the kinship of military spouses. I figured out, probably a little later than I should have recognized, by avoiding significant bonds I was only depriving myself of happiness and strong friendships.

We all move a lot, but that doesn’t mean that we have to move on and out of each others’ lives. While I’m here, no matter how much longer that may be, I’m going to make a true effort to connect. We all might as well make the best of it. Play date anyone?