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Military mama: Too bad time can’t be manipulated

In our home we countdown to events by the number of “night nights” we have to wait until the big day, it’s a technical term. Lately my oldest, has been trying to negotiate with time. He’ll hold out both hands, little fingers spread and ask, “This many night nights?” and I respond with the proper amount of fingers. This is where the truly inspired stuff comes into play. He simply lessens that number by lowering a few of his digits and says “how ‘bout this many?”

Brilliant! Why haven’t I thought of this before?

“Gee, that’s too many...let’s see, if I just lower this finger and that one...ahh yes that trimmed off a day or two.”

Wouldn’t that make deployments fly?!

So when a vacation is approaching, yet just not coming quickly enough, wouldn’t it be fabulous to say, “Let’s get this show on the road, how about only one more night night?” I have no doubt that my son will try this negotiation tactic many times as he grows up.

“Grounded for two weeks? Nah, how about one?” or “Can’t drive until I’m sixteen? Maybe I should start practicing at thirteen.”

The magic of time manipulation could theoretically go in reverse, as well. The in-laws coming in to town and your house is not up to par? Bam, throw two thumbs up and give yourself a couple more days of scrubbing time. Or how about when hubby finally has leave and the honey-do list exceeds the number of hours it’s going to take to get them honey-done? Wham, I’ll give you five! You practically get a week, free. And heaven knows it would be amazing to extend any vacation that your family can finally squeeze in to your busy lives.

And while we’re at it, wouldn’t it be fantastic to do some split-screen style time manipulation? For once, all members of your family are present and accounted for, you’d like to slow things down for a moment so that you can kick back and enjoy. Yet, as a good military spouse knows, likely someone near and dear to you is wishing for time to fly by as quickly as possible so that they can have their “complete set” as well. Whip out your options, on one hand give yourself five more digits and hold up a balled fist for them. You get quality time, and their time sails by like magic.

Unfortunately, there are a few glitches with the practical application. I have the concept all worked out, yet the logistics are not quite there.

Maybe I can just toss the assignment on over to those guys and gals at C.E. they’re good at coming up with details and getting things to work. Go ahead, when y’all get a chance, get on that. We’d all appreciate it, especially my less than patient son.