a view from under a pew

Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, who types by hopping on the computer keyboard, but he can’t operate the capital shift, and he shuns punctuation marks – except dashes and hyphens.

the real story of thanksgiving

with the full realization that

thanksgiving looms ahead

boss i thought it intriguing

that archaeologist

tunneling bugs have

unearthed a rare and

ancient bugtussle find —

the so-called real and

true story of the first

thanksgiving as reported

by the initial edition of

the church pew inquirer

giggle and snort all you

want to boss but a lot

of prominent bugtussle

journalists got their

nefarious starts there

the bugtussle manuscript

appears to be dated

november of 1965 boss

under the mysterious

heading of — gary s

garrulities — in an unusual

publication called — la

sesalpha — whatever

that means

anyway here s the gist

of the manuscript text

back in the east about this

time 340 years ago the

pilgrims were sharpening

their rusty axes on an old

squeaky grindstone so they

might have a bountiful

thanksgiving dinner

but we know that story —

pilgrim chases gobbling turkey

turkey gets headache

pilgrim acquires indigestion —

so what question mark

i am going to reveal an

incident — i m not certain

of its validity though — never

published in anyone s history

about the beginning of

thanksgiving in the southwest

in this area about the time

desoto was splashing around

in the mississippi the indians

at santa fe were preparing their

annual feast called pueblo s

annual feast thanking great white

spirit for giving pueblos good

yellow corn hundreds of years

ago - also known as

paftgwsfgpgychya feast — later

shortened to thanksgiving by a

couple of puritans — priscilla and

john alden methinks — as they

passed over new mexico in their

hot-air balloon that said — around

the world in 80 days or bust

the indians invited everyone on

the high plains to come

the festivities rolled along as that

great warrior ringo and some

long-haired animals provided

music and entertainment

the ceremony had reached its

peak of excitement when a

wild turkey called clovis flew

into a pot of broth

the indians angered by the

interruption slit the beast s

throat and ate him

after the meal the warriors

received various forms of

heartburn stomach pain and

indigestion which ultimately

caused their untimely death —

proving that anybody ought

to know better than to eat

a clovis turkey

well that s it boss - it ain t

exactly a work of art nor

does it radiate any great

truth — methinks it would

have been better simply to

give god the glory and just

say happy thanksgiving

amos