Guys, lunch is not a subject

The average Clovis High football player counts his parents as the most influential people in their lives, thinks “Playmakers” is the best show on television, wouldn’t trust a teammate to date his sister, and prefers Brittany Spears to J-Lo by the slimmest of margins.

Other interesting tidbits revealed by a voluntary survey taken after practice Wednesday include senior defensive end Jarod Baldwin edging junior running back Phillip Williams as the Wildcats’ best dressed player, a scary number of players picking lunch as their favorite subject, and the fact that senior offensive lineman Steven Gulley can’t rap.

There’s a clown in every group, and this one has plenty, including junior running back Chris Phillips, Williams, senior running back Mark Replogle and Gulley. More than one teammate dubbed Phillips and Williams “dumb and dumber.”

The Carly Simon Award — “Your so vain, you probably think this song is about you” — goes to Phillip Williams, senior offensive lineman Vincent Williams and Phillips, who all picked themselves as “best dressed teammate.”

But then again, senior nose guard Wade Lopez picked himself as the funniest teammate. Does that mean the joke’s on him?

Their greatest moments in sports range from throwing a no-hitter to running for 210 yards in a freshman game to “every time I step on the field.”

For John Props, who’s favorite subject is math and listens to the Ying Yang Twins, picking his favorite moment in sports was easy. In his first varsity start at quarterback, he made a bigger splash than a Chris Farley cannonball by passing for two touchdowns and running for two more in a 43-0 win against Roswell.

Mayfield quarterback Jeremy Lawson (205 yards rushing and three long TDs) left a lasting impression on the Wildcats, as he was named the best player Clovis faced by an overwhelming margin. Mammoth Highland offensive lineman Phillip Harrison also received mention.

Besides lunch, math was the favorite school subject with science and history also in the running.

Given the choice of jobs outside of playing sports, senior linebacker Jeff Epps would like to fly helicopters. Junior lineman Juan Gutierrez wants to continue to inflict pain by becoming a dentist, junior cornerback Jacob “Whitey” has his sights set on becoming the CEO of a big corporation, and Vincent Williams is thinking about becoming an attorney.

Further proving it takes brains to be an offensive lineman, senior Philip Salazar is considering becoming a pediatrician — and he even spelled it correctly.

At the other end of the spectrum, junior defensive lineman Jason Burns who would love to drive monster trucks, and Phillips wants to become a professional singer, which might explain his choice as funniest teammate.

Favorite college and pro football teams include the Texas Longhorns, Dallas Cowboys and Oakland Raiders — with only Lopez (New Mexico) and Epps (Texas Tech) showing provincial loyalty.

Gulley and Lopez may be the most dangerous players in the huddle because their favorite pre-game meal is a burrito.

But the clear choice for pre-game meal was spaghetti with Subway sandwiches the only other meal getting more than one vote.

Randy Moss and Brian Urlacher were the clear choices as top NFL wide receiver and linebacker respectively, while Peyton Manning and Priest Holmes earned the nod at quarterback and running back.