Serving Clovis, Portales and the Surrounding Communities

My secret identity is email hockey dad

I’ve been living a secret identity.

It’s unfortunately boring and annoying. I neither fight crimes in secret nor execute crimes in secret. I’m a hockey dad.

It started a few weeks ago when I got an email from some graphic designer named Bob in Massachusetts. They were jersey number and letters and helmet decals. “What do you think of these?”

I wrote an encouraging reply. “Hey Bob, these are great in my mind. But I have to believe you’re trying to reach another Kevin Wilson. I live in New Mexico, I have never set foot in Massachusetts and the Buffalo Sabres are the only hockey team I follow.”

Bob apologized and thanked me for bringing the error to his attention. But the error continued.

Every time another hockey parent wants to start a group message, they go to the original list or they hit “Reply All.” I know far more about game schedules and practice times than any New Mexico resident should know about a Massachusetts hockey team.

Nobody questions the list having two Kevin Wilsons, because they think it’s “work email/personal email” and not “right guy/wrong guy.”

I assume they’ll take me off the list eventually, but I’m on my third set of parents. Every parent blames it on the last guy to have the list, but no parent takes the extra step to remove me from the list.

Part of me just wants to give in and be the hockey parent without a hockey kid. I could sit with them at games. I’d bring snacks for the goodie bag. I’d yell at the referees to call the most obscure penalties. I’d get in screaming matches with the parents of the other team. I’d pick a different kid each game for unsolicited advice. I’d keep pushing until another parent finally got fed up, pulled me aside and asked me which kid was mine.

“None of them. NOW will you remove me from the email list?”

Worse things could happen, especially with how average-sounding my name is. Every famous Kevin Wilson gets brought up to me, but nobody’s ever mistakenly believed I coached Indiana University football or performed comedy in Australia.

Fortunately, no Kevin Wilson has done something horrifying. Go read stories about how football broadcaster Gerry Sandusky gets confused for convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky; you’ll be amazed how easily anger can blind common sense.

Of course, some average-named people have used their power to help themselves. Will Smith needed to promote a movie, and asked every Will Smith on Facebook to share. He got thousands of willing volunteers.

My days as a hockey parent should end pretty soon. Either the parents will get it and stop sending me emails, or I’ll be writing the other Kevin Wilson and ask him to handle it on behalf of Kevin Wilsons everywhere.

But it’s already given me three good rules for 2018:

• When there’s a mistake, fix the error before figuring out who’s to blame.

• Check every email address before sending.

• Friends don’t let friends hit Reply All.

Kevin Wilson is managing editor for the Eastern New Mexico News. Contact him at 575-763-3431, ext. 320, or by email:

[email protected]