Gestures maintain romance
June 3, 2005
I n the spirit of the day, which is our sixth anniversary, I want to go back to one of my favorite subjects — romance and the art of keeping it alive and green.
If you are married or permanent with the love of your life, as I feel about Janice, you might resonate with this. If you are still searching, maybe this will help. If you are unhappy where you are — well, maybe this will help as well, because maybe you need to look at her/him through different eyes and make some attitude adjustments (in you, not them).
It is the little things in relationships that mean a lot. An example is the fried egg sandwich story. After my softball practice Tuesday, Janice did not have to make me a fried egg sandwich. She could have said “There's the bread and the PBJ. Knock yourself out, Josh.” However, she did not do these things. Even though she had experienced a stressful day, she took the time to fry some eggs and toast some bread. As I said, the little things...
It is akin to the headrub story. Recent weather changes have caused my high desert rose to experience sinus issues; she is, after all, a “desert rose” and it has been swampy of late. I know that rubbing the sinus areas often relieves pressure, and it takes so little effort. Yes, the little things...
Send flowers to her place of employment. It is not against the law, and it is not “unmanly,” to display for the world how much you love this woman. One in 10 women may get embarrassed by this. If yours is one who gets embarrassed, you already know that. The other nine will feel treasured and cherished.
Purchase a special CD and place it in his car CD player, if he has one. It doesn't matter if his idea of romantic music is Montgomery Gentry or Guns N’ Roses; this is about surprising him, not your musical differences. When he turns on the CD player with the special CD, you will be the first thought in his mind.
Send her an e-mail card at work, if she is allowed to receive such. If she is not, then send her a regular mail card at work. It will be a total surprise.
Encourage her to have the night out with the girls. Better yet, cook your best specialty meal for her and the girls —then disappear. Whether she is 26 or 66, time with the girls is vital.
Give him the several days to go fishing with the boys. Do not comment on how badly the lawn needs to be cut as he is packing the car. Do not attempt to sort out his tackle box; this is not doing him any favors.
The guiding force for the above suggestions is the old song, “Hold on loosely, and don't let go.” Real love trusts: if she says she is with the girls, she is; if he says he is at the lake, he is. The flip side of this, of course, is real love never does anything to create suspicion.
You know the elements of romance. Late night adventures are romantic, especially here where most nights are pleasant. You can go in your own backyard, or one of the local parks. Candlelights and bath oil. Playing together.
Remembering special occasions, or no occasion at all.
Winter romance and the winter world of love are great, but this is now. Remind her that she (or he) is the treasure of your life.
Clyde Davis is pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Portales and an instructor at Eastern New Mexico University. He can be contacted at: