Christmas tree, oh why so challenging

Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, somewhat flat on one side are you.

I’m a firm proponent of the idea that nothing is impossible. But, while anything can be accomplished, that does not always translate into the job getting done in an optimal manner.

Sometimes, the best you can do is not quite as good as you’d hoped for.

And so it was with the Christmas tree hunt one year.

Me and the kid and the one in the middle had been dispatched to the ranch two counties over to feed the cows and check the water so that they ought to be good until Christmas day was over. Our secondary mission, given to us by our mother, was to also bring back a Christmas tree from the hairier side of the place.

The pickup we were in was the one with the camper-shell, which is nice in the cab with heated seat and satellite radio to enjoy, but not immediately the best for tree transportation. Hooked on the ball was the feed wagon full of cow cake that we were draggin’ all over the place as we made the rounds to find the cows.

Now, the part of the ranch that has trees suitable for Christmas is a long ways from the entrance and on the later part of the normal feed route. We made it there before dark, still draggin’ the wagon and, as difficult as it is to find a decently pointy tree in the daylight, it’s much closer to impossible in the dark. So clearly the only option was to find a tree now and not later.

We found a decent specimen, nearish to the road, and we went after it with the oscillating saw that into the back we’d throw’d. It works like a charm — when the battery is full, and today it was not, so we had to change tacks and pull.

The chain around the stump connected to the wagon did a fine job of making the tree mobile. But the tree was actually quite big when taken as a whole and wouldn’t fit in the back and we were not quite strong enough to get it up the six feet or so onto the back of the wagon.

So the several miles back to the nearest powered saw, the tree stayed where it was, hooked onto the back with a chain.

We did get it back, and we did get it sawed. It may have been a little flat on one side, but that just made it perfect for putting up against the wall.

Audra Brown is just taking an ax next time. Contact her at: [email protected]